Summary of Raising a Happy, Unspoiled Child (Part II)

More on balancing the 3 primary interests of a child aged 7 and a half to 14 months......

In a course of a day, a newly crawling baby engages in either one of the three primary interests, which are

1.  interacting with people (social interest),

2.  improving his newly developed physical skills, such as crawling, cruising, walking (motor interest),

3. exploring, such as opening drawers etc ( satisfying his curiosity).

A nicely developed 3-year-old continues to have equally strong interests in each of these three directions.  However, for overindulged children,  the imbalance often involves an overdevelopment of the social interest at the expense of the others.  Clingy, whiney 2-year-olds fall into this category.  To sustain a baby curiosity, the use of play-pen, gated room and crib is to be minimised. You could start safety-proofing the home to make it suitable for the mobile child to explore.  Some examples are allowing them to use the bottom kitchen cabinets, allowing them to crawl for 3 lowest steps of a flight of stairs.   Also, the main care giver is encouraged to take a few hours break from a child (by using a nanny or other ways) to hold down the overdevelopment of the baby's social interest. 

The goal of this stage is to raise a 14-month-old who 

1. is achieving balance in the 3 principle interests,

2. does not overuse cry, learned to take minor setbacks and discomforts in stride, 

3. is free from annoying habits, such as biting and hairpulling,

4.  has learned she has the right to repeat herself for what she really wants, but if it is made clear she is not gettign way, she should cease and go along with parent's authority,

5. accepts being diapered

6.  is happy most of the time and rarely complains.

In order to teach a child to take minor difficulties in stride and prevent bad habits, the key is to avoid immediate and dramatic response.  Because the attention given to these acts are extremely powerful reinforcer during the early months of a child's life.  At this stage, the use of time out is rarely productive.  As a form of consequence from an undesirable act, parents could hold the child firmly to restrict his movement or refrain a child coming near to them.